The process by which John and I pro­duce a new comic is twisted and tor­tur­ous, not entirely unlike the dark rit­u­als one might use to summon a bale­ful demon to this earthly plane. It’s not uncom­mon for both of us to come away from our Skype chats feel­ing drained of vigor and full of bile. One unlucky lis­tener once char­ac­ter­ized our con­ver­sa­tions as “con­tentious and blunt”, a charge we seem to have taken to heart over the years of our col­lab­o­ra­tion.

Inspired by other, greater indi­vid­u­als than our­selves, John and I have been con­sid­er­ing for sev­eral months now how to best inflict our cre­ative process upon you, dear read­ers. I think we’ve finally come up with some­thing.

And so, with the hope that I’ve dis­suaded at least a few of you from lis­ten­ing, I present to you the very first episode of Tempus Fugit, the Chronil­log­i­cal Pod­cast!

The title of this episode is Scatil­log­i­cal, for rea­sons that will become dis­tress­ingly clear should you choose to listen to it.

Although we are billing this as a “pod­cast”, we can’t really promise these on any­thing like a reg­u­lar basis. To be honest, it’s not entirely clear that we’ll be doing another one of these. The main dif­fi­culty in pro­duc­ing these things, we’ve dis­cov­ered, is the sheer, mind-​numbing drudgery—the drudgery of sift­ing through buck­et­fuls of old mate­r­ial to extract those few meager flakes of gold.

Also, the eerie horror of lis­ten­ing to a record­ing of your own voice saying vile, appalling things—things that clearly would never have passed your lips in a sane state. Mustn’t forget about the eerie horror.

Finally, a few notes of prepa­ra­tion, expla­na­tion, and clar­i­fi­ca­tion:

  1. The intro/outro music is a track called Just What I Always Wanted by Mizuk­isLastChance, from the ever-​awesome chip­tune repos­i­tory, 8 Bit Collective.
  2. John and I have potty-​mouths. If you don’t like potty in your mouth, then we def­i­nitely rec­om­mend you give this MP3 a pass. Con­sider your­self warned.
  3. Early in the pod­cast, we start talk­ing about the film Metrop­o­lis. If you’re con­fused why we abruptly start talk­ing about “the medi­a­tor between the head and hands” and robot sluts, it’s because we’re ref­er­enc­ing to this movie. I just want to clar­ify that I do not gen­er­ally bring up robot sluts in con­ver­sa­tion as a matter of course.
  4. You will hear the name David Schultz; he is a mutual friend of ours. Fun fact: he was the inspi­ra­tion for the design of Pro­fes­sor Malloc!
  5. We spend a lot of time dis­cussing “pavil­ions”. Specif­i­cally, we are refer­ring to pavil­ions as imple­mented at EPCOT Center in Walt Disney World. If you have no idea what that pre­vi­ous sen­tence meant, then I hon­estly have no idea what you will make of this record­ing. Good luck.

Alright, there’s clearly been too much ado here, and I need to wrap things up. Shoo, ado! Shoo!

Here, while I’m fin­ish­ing up with the ado, take the pod­cast and enjoy.

Tempus Fugit, Episode 1: Scatil­log­i­cal

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